You love anything beautiful, and you have extraordinary taste. And while it's hard for you to trust, you care deeply for those close to you. You are a social butterfly, and you have many friends. You handle stress well - and you are a master at relaxing after a hard day. Overall, you are modest, talented, unselfish, and very reliable.
You're the type to take charge - whether it's leading a group or living your life purposefully. You seek power and influence. You refuse to be helpless, and you go after what you want... especially when it comes to love.
Rubies are thought to bring power, authority, and unbridled passion. It's true that you don't let anything stand in your way. Of all the types, you are the most goal oriented. When you set your sights on something, you make sure you get it.
You go best with emerald. Only emeralds can give you total and complete commitment - which is what your jealous self needs to be happy. You clash with amethyst. Amethysts are too aloof and logical for your passionate self. They drive you crazy with jealousy and desire.
I started an internship in May until the end of November. It's for a lens company in their customer service. I got "hired" to archive their orders, which I did. On the contract it said that I am doing this for 50% and the 30% that is now 10% percent (as am only working 60%) I should help the customer service team. Pah! I don't. Am just searching custom documents, compare it to an excel list and then upload it - archiving again. My boss thinks am not capable of taking care of customers on my own, that is why she hired 3 other ladies, instead of thinking to keep me. So I need to find another job again. That is really stressing me out at the moment. Because I can't go back to work in a call center again - and I haven't got my commercial diploma just yet. Even worse, companies think because I worked in a foundation for people with psychic problems am not able to work in the "outside" world. They forget that mobbing and bullying me is what made me go there because of the "outside" world. I got my big rucksack am carrying for the rest of my life but I learned a lot how to deal with it and to change in the last year.
Besides I started studying and passed 3 tests already. If I pass them all and write an essay I will get my diploma within 6 months while others had to study for 18 months to get it - so I should stop thinking that am not worth it and speak up for myself...
You are an incredibly observant person, and you have a real head for details. You remember everything. You are quite clever and even a bit sneaky. You're the type who likes to work behind the scenes.
You aren't one for attention, but you do still want to do good in this world. You just prefer to be anonymous. You are more adventurous than you might seem, and you want to be able to travel everywhere, completely undisturbed.
Just read what I wrote in October last year. Damn I really was deep in depression. Am so lucky that am over it. I really thought that I never ever will see the light again and that I lost myself.
Since November I got psychiatrist appointments every month and am taking antidepressant drugs. But am almost over it, got only two more appointments and also already reduced the drugs by half.
Since 3 weeks am back to the "real" world as I started a training for technical support in a call center. Tomorrow am going to take my first calls. I feel home to be back in a call center. But better more I don't have to "get rid off" clients as quick as possible. I will have them on the phone for longer, that is until I supported them with their computer and landline problems. Hooray, I also get training on tv.
maybe to ease my mind. to put things right again. maybe just because i don't know what else to do.
i lost my job, they sacked me August 23. went to work for another week and then had 2 weeks holiday. we went to the UK and that was nice - left my troubles in Switz... but then back at work i couldn't handle it anymore. i didn't had the strenght to work until the end of October. so i went to my doc after 4 days and now am off work.
you know my collegues at work were talking behind my back constantly and i really couldn't handle it anymore - but now being at home tryint to apply for jobs it makes me feel like i lost it completly. i don't have the strength to do anything at all. am just watching television more or less the whole day and most of the night. i even sleep on the sofa.
i need to take calming pills but they only put my troubles into the back of my head instead of having anxieties all the time...
i think i lost myself. all the fun and the nini i once was is gone. am just an empty shell.